Life Is Like a Train

From one of our staff:

Life is like a train and God is our conductor. When we go through something unpleasant, we must remember that God is leading us in our train of life and He knows where we are supposed to be going. He is there to lead us through the easy parts of life. He is there to hold our hand through the hard times. God knows what is best for us even though we may not remember that as we are experiencing difficulty in our lives.

Make the best out of your life even though it may be hard to sometimes. Look for the good spots in life. Cherish all of the good moments. Don’t forget to pray to God whenever the going gets rough and to thank Him when things are going good. You will feel a lot better.

We're being blogged about

Check out the blog Kveller: A Jewish Twist on Parenting.

This post talks about one of our programs sponsored by UJA-Federation of New York.

GPS (Guiding Parents through Services) helps parents navigate what services are available for their kids in need of counseling or therapy of any sort.

http://www.kveller.com/blog/parenting/a-gps-for-your-family/

Light It Up Blue

Social Worker Month

So March is National Social Worker Month, a time when we honor those who work so hard to help those in need. What does it take to be a social worker? A lot of time and patience from what I've observed. Social workers are therapists, hand holders, comforters, advocates, warriors, cheerleaders, support staff, urgers, relaxers, nodders, and more. I'm sure I could come up with a few more adjectives, but I think you get the basic idea.


As thsi clip from CNN shows (http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/bestoftv/2012/02/09/exp-erin-social-workers.cnn), social workers are often put in difficult and sometimes dangerous situations. We don't hear about these everyday heroes until, unfortunately, something goes wrong.

So for this month, let's take a minute to thank a social worker. Thank you for being in our corner, for advocating for the services people need, picking up the slack when someone drops the rope. Here's to social workers around the world who tend to put others' needs before their own.

What Is a Friend?

Friendship;

A precious gift.

It is easy to obtain friendship.

Yet it is also easy to lose.

A friend;

Someone who cares

A friend is always there

To share a smile and wipe away the tears.

A friend brings joy when times are rough

And that brings a smile to your face.

A friend has encouraging words to share

When the goings on in life are really tough.

So when you are feeling really down

Life darkness is filling the room

Call your friend to share your thoughts.

And then the darkness will fade away

  
by Rochel Lewi

A Heartbreaking Tale

One of our B'not Chaya and BreakFree students puts her life into words. Intense and at times hard to read, but oh-so-real.

If god gives us hell only if he knows we can handle it, how come some people cant. For example, me….i go through hell year after year. Not one day for me is simple. My coping skills aren’t either that great. When I was 11 I started cutting myself. When I was 14 I started smoking. When I was 16 I started drugs. I just wish there were other ways for me to cope.

I guess I can handle it a little if im still breathing. Having a mother with bipolar is extremely difficult. It maybe easier for some people if they have other people in their lifes. I have my brother but he is on drugs himself and is never even home for me to see him or talk to him. My father works plus he has severe depression. So I have no one. I don’t really open up to people because I feel they would think of me as crazy also. So I keep it all inside. I guess that’s why its extremely hard for me. My closest friends are the ones that understand me. I go to therapy. I been going since I was in third grade. I don’t like therapy. I don’t feel that it helps me at all.

When I was 13 my mother went into one of her manic episodes and told her therapist that my father was beating me and sexually assaulting me. Afther that her therapist told ACS and they opened a case against my dad. At that time I didn’t know about my mothers mental illness. After 3 weeks into it my father sat down with me to tell me what was going on. He said I was finally old enough to know and understand it. It took me a while to fully understand what was going on but it didn’t hit me until 2 months later. I lived by my friends house for about 3 months and in that time a lot of shit was going on. One day my mother came to my school and pulled me out of class. She took me into the office and my principal and some teachers were in there as well. She started shaking me and crying. She was saying how my fathers an alcoholic and he is going to rape me and I cant go home. I didn’t know what to do I couldn’t stop her she told me I had to come with her I didn’t want to go but I couldn’t take the embarrassment anymore so I just went with her. She took me to her friends house and made me stay there. Even when I went to the bathroom she didn’t let me go without her standing outside the door. I was in shock with what was going on--I just shut down and didn’t talk to anyone. I didn’t speak to my father for a while because I was too scared and I couldn’t talk to my brother because he was in rehab at that time. My mother started staying at her friends house and she became extremely religous. She even shaved her head. That bothered me the most..my mother didn’t even know her own identity.

I had to go down to ACS office a couple of times for them to talk to me--I hated it. But finally my mother was put into a psych ward. Nothing was over yet. The case was still open it took a few months for it to end. ACS people came to my house to check how I live. The last time I went to their office they said I was able to go home and live with my father. They sent a letter saying case closed. My father was so happy after that. A month later my mother came home from the psych ward but she came with a care taker. The care taker took care of me for six months instead of my mother. It felt really weird. I hated her because of that--I just wanted my mother. After the care takers six months were up she left. My father went into his depression. It was hell. He layed in bed all day didn’t go to work didn’t talk to anyone. He was in bed for a year.

When I was 15 my mother went into another manic episode. This one was pretty bad. I was more understanding of what was going on so it hit me even more. My mother called the police on my father and got a restraining order against him. My father couldn’t go near my mother even though they were still in the same house. My brother was in Israel at this time so again I didn’t have him. I was all alone. I was in between my father and mother. When my father needed something from my mother he would ask me and then I would have to ask her and then she would call the police saying he was assaulting her. She called the police so many times I couldn’t take it anymore I wanted to die. I couldn’t take the pain. One day my mother just left. She went to white plain to live by my cousin who is in the jewish mafia. There she felt safe. Me and my father went to his friend to live. Even though my mom was gone he was too scared to go home. In white plains my mother would call me everyday and diss me saying I made her like this and im making her have a heart attack and she is dying. I cried everytime. She called ambulance a few times and they realized she was crazy they took her in telling her their treating her for a heart attack but they really took her into the psych ward. My father was still to scared to go home. We had a court case to go to. Thank god my mother was in the psych ward already because if not my father would have never won the case and he would be in jail. On December 1 2009, we went to court. They said since the other party (my mom) didn’t show up they closed it. I was so relieved and we finally were able to go home.

My grades went down my mind went crazy and all I did was cut myself over and over and over. I wanted to get rid of the pain I wanted to numb myself. I started smoking more often than I usually did and life was just crazy. Every week me and my father would go visit my mother. I hated going I hated seeing her like that. I daydream every night that my mother dies and I can never fall asleep. My life was just falling apart. After chanuka my mother came home and since then nothing has been the same. I just hope I don’t have to write anything else about my life.

Is Bullying Too Easy an Answer?

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/02/08/bullying-suicide-teens-depression_n_1247875.html

There have been myriad stories recently about teenage suicides that have resulted due to ongoing bullying in schools and communities. But the question that arises is whether bullying is the only reason, whether we're too quick to point out that a person was bullied to the point of suicide.

Were there other mitigating factors that families, teachers, friends just didn't see? Was the teen depressed? Were there mental health issues involved? Was the bullying the tipping factor?

We're not suggesting that bullying isn't cruel and heartless and a huge factor in self-esteem issues and images of self-worth. It is. But as this post by Katherine Bindley points out, maybe pointing the finger at bullying makes those who survived feel a bit better about NOT noticing what else was going on. Yes, bullying can lead people to the brink of despair, but is it the sole contributor or just one of many factors that lead a child to a tragic end?

"Even though suicides often prove to involve multiple factors, most experts are still quick to add that bullying can aggravate depression and increase suicide risk, and its seriousness shouldn't be minimized," says the blog post.

But it's those multiple factors that we need to be more aware of, that we need to look at and make sure we understand. Look at your children, your spouse, your teenager. Has their behavior changed recently? Their eating habits? Sleeping habits? Don't turn away because you're afraid or don't understand. Reach out and get them help even if they say they don't want it.